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By Janelle Bertler, Traditional Naturopathic Practitioner 

 

In our healing journeys, the ghost of emotional trauma often plays a significant role. The adage, “No one gets out of childhood without traumas,” resonates profoundly as a universal truth. Trauma, however, is not solely confined to the grand, dramatic events that come to mind. While abuse, betrayal, illness, loss, and abrupt life changes are often seen as the monumental “big T” traumas, the canvas of our lives is also painted with “little t” traumas. These seemingly smaller incidents hold the power to create emotional distress, triggering a spectrum of negative emotions that disrupt our equilibrium. Regardless of their magnitude, these traumas demand attention and processing for healing to seed deep within the body!

Here at Longevity, sometimes we see people stay so focused on their physical symptoms (usually subconsciously) as an avoidance to feeling emotional pain. It’s a defense mechanism that may provide temporary respite but ultimately hinders the deeper healing process. Emotional traumas, like storms, can leave lasting imprints on our hearts and minds, even translating into tangible physical manifestations. The pain trauma brings might seem insurmountable, but just as a wound heals with time, so too can emotional scars. Healing from emotional traumas is a deeply personal journey that requires patience, self-compassion, the right mindset and rolling with the emotional flow of this physical life. The following steps unveil a path toward healing from emotional traumas, propelling us towards a state of wholeness and peace.

 

Awareness

Awareness is the gateway toward healing. It’s the beginning of the path forward, out of the shadows of pain. Awareness creates the space needed for individuals to process their experiences, emotions, and memories. The process of validating the pain and the various emotions that accompany trauma is the foundation upon which recovery builds. Unprocessed emotions are wounds that remain hidden and fester below the surface, therefore, let the emotions flow. Give yourself permission to grieve, be angry, feel sad, etc., without attaching a narrative, judgment, or meaning. You may find it easiest to start with 15 minutes of manageable increments per day. Set a timer. When it goes off, promise your body you will show up again tomorrow! This process is a necessary part of integrating the trauma into one’s life story and finding meaning in the midst of pain. Awareness makes way for empowerment. It gives agency over the healing journey. You have control over your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors which allows for rebuilding a sense of self, regaining a sense of control, finding the strength to move forward and the resiliency to feel hope again.

 

Support Networks

Recognizing the need for help and seeking support is an integral part of the healing process. You don’t have to go through the healing journey alone. Reach out to friends, loved ones, support groups or therapists, who can offer guidance and understanding. Surround yourself with a support network who genuinely cares for your well-being and has your back. Not any one person can be all things, so diversify. Your support network can be immensely helpful during the healing process by providing validation, comfort, and a sense of belonging. Therapy can be useful in its ability to shine a light on your coping mechanisms, give you insights into your trauma, and provide you with tools to navigate healing. Therapists are excellent at providing understanding of how your formative years and specific traumas are still impacting your life. The beauty of support networks is that it can go both ways. When they need support, you can be there for them. 

 

Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about condoning harmful actions or letting others off the hook; it’s about releasing the heavy burden of resentment from your own heart. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting; it means freeing yourself from the chains of bitterness. Holding onto grudges, anger and resentment only perpetuates the cycle of pain. Forgiveness can begin by tapping into empathy and allowing release. It is a process that’s unique to each individual and may take time. Remember to incorporate self-forgiveness in the process as well. Research on forgiveness shows improved mental health, less anxiety/depression, lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, improved heart health, improved self-esteem and healthier relationships. All well worth the time invested.

 

Reflection

Reflective practice allows us to observe our own thoughts and feelings. Most times our thoughts and feelings go unobserved, creating repetitive negative patterns. Developing the ability to slow down, creates space for observation allowing for gaining understanding, identifying patterns and triggers, transforming actions, and finding forward momentum. Self-reflection can lead to profound insights and safeguard against inadvertently re-traumatizing yourself or others. As you pen down your traumatic experiences, I challenge you to rewrite your story from a place of empowerment – extract lessons, both positive and challenging, that the experience offered. How does your prior experience reverberate in your life now? Just remember to not get lost in the mind. Bring it into action. How do you want to adapt? How are you going to bounce back? How are you going to interact with those around you, creating a different pattern moving forward? What can you let go of? Consistent self-reflection nurtures accountability, fostering personal growth that ripples outward, benefiting not only you but those who share your journey. Through reflection, you build a bridge between past wounds and present healing, fostering resilience and empowerment.

 

Mindset 

Cultivating a resilient mindset is akin to tending to the garden of your thoughts, carefully nurturing the beliefs that shape your reality. Marisa Peer explains, “a belief is just a thought that plays over and over,” so begin to choose your thoughts wisely. Mindset influences how you think, feel, and behave in every given situation. Therefore, by growing a resilient mindset we harness our inner strength, cushioning ourselves from the effects of daily stressors. The mindset that fosters resilience begins with the following traits: optimism, positive self-talk, purpose, adaptability, emotional intelligence, and an ability to work through problems. All these traits can be grown! Srikumar Roa talks about situations as neither good nor bad. He recommends holding the perspective of “who knows, we will see.” I challenge you to invite a sense of curiosity, looking for the silver lining, even if all you can see right now are dark clouds. Resilience won’t make your problems go away — but resilience can give you the ability to see past them, allowing for satisfaction, peace, and enjoyment in life with a better ability to manage stress and adversity. If we apply the mind’s healing power, we can heal not only our mental and emotional afflictions but physical problems too.

 

Authenticity

The journey towards authenticity dances hand in hand with self-discovery and self-compassion. Authenticity is particularly pivotal for trauma survivors, as it involves shedding the protective facades and embracing one’s true self. Authenticity requests vulnerability and as vulnerability flourishes it begins to dismantle self-defensive behaviors which were constructed in response to trauma. An authentic person is someone who exudes genuineness, honesty, and comfort in their own skin, unburdened by the need for external acceptance. It’s a key that unlocks one’s true potential and is associated with higher self-esteem, psychological well-being, and genuine happiness. Authenticity forms the foundation for relationships, enabling individuals to be appreciated for their true selves. The journey of inviting vulnerability and becoming more authentic to you, is a journey that empowers healing, self-connection, and the ability to communicate needs with clarity. This ultimately leads to a life where one can unabashedly be themselves, embraced and valued for all their unique thoughts, beliefs, emotional needs, and desires. Embrace the journey of owning the masterpiece that is you – every facet and hue.

 

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are like the guardians of our emotional and psychological well-being, and they play a pivotal role in the healing journey from trauma. When individuals establish clear and healthy boundaries, they create a safe space where they can protect themselves from potential triggers and emotional distress. This safety provides a foundation for healing, allowing survivors to regain a sense of control over their lives and their personal space. Boundaries act as a buffer against re-traumatization, preventing others from crossing lines that might evoke painful memories or emotions. Moreover, they enable trauma survivors to define their needs and communicate them effectively, fostering a sense of agency and empowerment. In essence, boundaries are the scaffolding upon which the process of healing can be built, helping individuals navigate the path towards recovery with greater resilience and self-assuredness.

 

Lifestyle Support 

Lifestyle can either support or hinder the emotional healing process. Let’s highlight the categories to pay attention to in your daily life.

  1. Self-Care Practices: Exercise, Stretch, Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditation, Deep Breathing, and Tapping all assist in managing stress, reducing anxiety, and supports staying grounded.
  2. Nutrition: A nutrient-rich diet that nourishes the body supports the brain with the necessary fuel to function normally, stabilize mood and improve energy levels. 
  3. Sleep: Quality sleep is vital for the processing of traumas and supports emotional regulation. Create a restful sleep environment. 
  4. Physical Activity: Regular exercise has been proven to reduce anxiety, depression, and can assist in releasing pent up energy. It releases the feel-good hormone called endorphins, supporting elevated mood. 
  5. Creativity & Expression: Art, writing, and music are excellent therapeutics supports that can assist in processing of emotions. 

 

Conclusion

Healing from emotional traumas is a journey of reclaiming ourselves. It requires compassion, patience, and consistent effort. Its ultimate goal is to lighten the heart, leading to a state of wholeness and an internal sense of peace. Just as a garden requires time to bloom after a storm, so too does the soul in the process of healing. This transformation of pain into wisdom, scars into stories, and darkness into newfound serenity is a testament to human resilience. It’s important to acknowledge that healing is not a linear path; there will be setbacks and challenges along the way. Yet, each small step forward is a cause for celebration, honoring the strength within. With the right support system, self-care regimen, and a willingness to confront past pain, one can turn trauma into an opportunity for personal growth.

 

Homeopathic & Nutritional Supports

Longevity’s Nutrition Shop has a wide range of support for emotional healing.

  • Solace Milleu Homeopathic
  • Grief Relief Herbal
  • Relief-Tone Homeopathic
  • Relax-Tone Homeopathic
  • Calm Five Homeopathic
  • St. John’s Wort
  • Happy Saffron
  • Zen
  • Everyday Stress Relief 
  • Bach flowers
  • And a whole bunch more

Feel free to ask your practitioner which product will be supportive to you and your situation.

 

Further Resources

Healing What’s Hidden: Practical Steps to Overcoming Trauma by Evan & Jenny Owens

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

I Am Enough by Marisa Peer

Tell Yourself a Better Lie by Marisa Peer

The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress Free Living by Nick Ortner

Making Sense of Men by Alison Armstrong

Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery by Alison Armstrong

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD

Getting Past Your Past by Francine Sharpiro PhD

 

by Janelle Bertler, Traditional Naturopathic Practitioner

 

Little did I know that finding myself dating again in my 40’s would lead to a new found appreciation for men, yet this story isn’t about my dating experience. It’s about the many MANY amazing human beings that I have met along the dating journey. Couple this appreciation for men with a desire to assist everyone to show up as their best selves, and at that crossroad is where this series of articles was born. Let’s begin.  

It’s a “no-brainer” that men are important to society for their contributions to family, community, leadership, education, innovation and more. Now more than ever before in history, the state of the world is having an effect on everyone, and the stressors continue to compound! For any healthcare practitioner, whose goal is to support the physical health of any human being, they must look at supporting the mind, body and spirit. We know that the body is so intertwined and connected that if you affect one of these systems, it in turn affects the others. 

 

Here are some statistics in regards to the physical-mental health connection: 

  • Men with depression have a 30% higher risk for developing heart disease.
  • Men with mental health disorders are at a higher risk of developing cancer and are more likely to die from the disease.
  • Men with mental health issues are more likely to struggle with substance abuse. Men with substance abuse are at a higher risk of developing liver disease, heart disease, and cancer.
  • Men with mental health conditions are more likely to experience chronic pain.
  • Men with mental health disorders are more likely to experience sleep problems, which can lead to an increased risk of other chronic diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease and obesity. 
  • Men with depression have a 60% higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes, compared to men without.
  • Men with mental health conditions are more likely to be obese, which can lead to a variety of physical health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure. 
  • According to the World Health Organization suicide rates among men are about 3x’s higher than women.

 

Mental health has a significant impact on men’s physical health. This highlights the importance of addressing mental health concerns as a key part of overall health and well-being. It is true that men may be less likely to seek help for mental health issues. They are more likely to cope with mental health issues on their own, possibly due to social/ cultural norms that stigmatize mental health as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Let’s dive into what men can do to support a healthy mental wellbeing!

We all know we should eat right, sleep well, exercise, blah, blah, blah. I’d like to share with you the “why” and some other areas that you may want to incorporate into your life. 

  1. Healthy eating reduces inflammation and reduces stress. It supports a healthy gut, deeper healing sleep, improves mood and increases energy.
  2. Prioritizing sleep has all the benefits of eating healthy, as well as assisting cognitive function, reducing irritability and increasing healthy emotional regulation. 
  3. Exercise not only improves mental health, but it also reduces the risk of chronic disease, improves sleep and relieves stress. Don’t forget about weight-lifting exercises. Muscle mass is important for supporting healthy testosterone levels, proper glucose control, bone health and improved self-image. 
  4. Maintain healthy relationships – Find your balance between family connections, friends and social groups. Loneliness and social isolation has been linked to an increased risk in depression, cardiovascular disease and decreased longevity. Males thrive on having friendships with other males, someone to talk to when times feel tough, and I’m not just talking about the superficial “sports” buddy. I’m talking about meaningful deep friendships. Finding friends as an adult might be easier by using a “finding friends” app or by joining groups that fit your favorite activities. A “gym buddy” might be a great way to fill multiple needs. 
  5. Take time for activities that bring joy and relaxation. It is important to find out what you need and enjoy. This will be different for every person and it may take trial and error to discover what works best. Carving out a little time in your life to feel elevated emotions can be very powerful, and we all need to find a little more relaxation to balance out our very busy lives.    
  6. Practice mindfulness in the way that works for you! This can take multiple forms: yoga, meditate, practice breathing exercises and/or try legs up the wall. There are all types of apps that can assist in this category; and remember to fill your spiritual needs as well.
  7. Limit screen time. Not only does blue light suppress melatonin making it harder to fall asleep, but devices keep your brain active and alert. Reducing screen time allows the brain to slow down and focus without distractions. Overtime this increases the ability to regulate emotions. Not to mention that media can have either a beneficial or negative effect depending upon what you choose to consume. 
  8. Serve others! Sometimes it takes getting out of our daily life and personal needs by putting attention on supporting others to get us out of the depths of mental health struggles. Volunteer your time. You might be amazed at how connecting in this way feeds the soul.
  9. Detoxify the body! By reducing the toxin load of the inner terrain, your Naturopath can assist you in feeling your best. 

 

It is when we feel our best that we have more “bandwidth” to deal with the everyday stressors of life. Put your own oxygen mask on first. Fill your own cup first. Take time for self-care! That way you are able to choose how you interact with those around you each and every day. Imagine a world where everyone has grace for everyone around them and can gently respond with kindness because everyone feels their best. That is the world I want to live in. Please join me in creating this world by caring for yourself and sharing this information with all the men that are important in your life. If you find yourself needing support in feeling your best, we are here to help!